Yesterday in the melting heat of down town Berkeley for some reason unknown to the rest of my body my brain and mouth, well part of my brain and all of my mouth, possibly my tongue and lips decided that they were going to pick at everything my colleague, possibly friend? was going to say.

So every “literally” was attacked by do you mean” actually”. As in “look that man has actually burst into flames over there, as it is so bloody hot”. Shit now I have typed this does it mean that literally is now correct? Can you apply this shit retrospectively? I also for some reason took offence at the “fucking long way” comment on how far it was to the supermarket. By offense my tongue convinced my brain to use it to move air about and make words. What is worse the person in question is probably the only person other than the director of Berkeley laboratories who actually reads this blog. Even worse was they laughed out loud at reading it so now every word I type I have a small sense of stage fright whilst before I was happy blogging to me and erm, me.

But to be honest the use of fucking has always confused me. I like the act of corpus as I’m sure most people do. So when I like something I tend not to associate it with being bad. To me a “fucking long way” implies a very short trip, read into that what you will, but when I enjoy a TV show it goes quickly the time shoots past as does eating some nice cake. So fucking long way should be short, no? Whilst say “having your skin removed with pliers long way” well that is just a long way away and does not sound like much fun.

When I was a kid I would sit in a big box and pretend it was a car, the day would be gone and time for tea. So fast so good now I sit in a big metal car and wish I was in a box, a sleep after 10 minutes let alone an hour of driving. What gives? But perhaps that is the answer, it is all to do with perspective. Fucking long way sound great but if your being fucked a long way and your not really enjoying it then I guess that makes sense. So next time you here the “fucking loud” or “fucking cold” or “fucking a long way” take a look and see who said it was it a man or a women?