It dawned on me that since I’ve started to pre-post (erm that can not be correct, that is the same as saying before-after, what?) my blog in advance that perhaps one day my blog will post and I will be dead. Shit what if by some freak of luck that it happens to be this post that is being erm posted? This concerned me for a little while, a minute, well until the coffee maker had made me my coffee and then again whilst waiting for my ice-tea to fall from the vending machine which I must stress has no Hawaii punch, no root beer but does have low fat Dr Pepa for those of you who are too stupid to know the difference. That reminds me does eating frozen yoghurt (FroYo to the kids) make you slim? I’ve convinced that by eating it at least once per day that it has a negative calorie value as it is yoghurt and therefore good for you. It is the clearly true, just like 1/3 fat philli spread is clearly absorbing 2/3 fat from your body - yet again another brilliant food when on a bagel with, apricot preserve, Tony’s dried salami and peanut butter (not the shit that K. bought).

So I have a few general rules to help anyone who may not be certain if I am dead or not:

  1. Am I dead? - Not a hard question but if you have seen evidence that I am dead then you can probably assume that this is just a pre-posted post.

  2. Did you kill me? - If you were say responsible for my death then, wanker, I forgive you - No I don’t really but you know that this must be a pre-post. Also police do not use this as evidence that I have not been killed, I have or have not been killed to death by a murdering killer deather person or not as the case may or may not be.

  3. Have you seen me walking about department with a strange greenish tint to my face? - Not to worry I am not dead it is just department a combination of bad lighting and or just having a bad day.

  4. Did I say hello to you? If I did then I could actually be dead and trying to mess with you!

  5. Have I stopped responding to my email? - Yeah since I change my email address quite frequently then it is a bit hit or miss if I am dead or not, more than likely not but I would not bet on it or celebrate too soon.

  6. Have I been overly moderating the forum? - Dead, I must be bored and thus dead.

  7. Have I rejoined the BCA? - Tough one this it is a 50:50 split could be dead and someone has climbed over my dead body or I could have seen the error of my way?

  8. Do I look happy? Generally as a rule I seem to be mainly in a state of continual pissed-off-ness and or unhappy you could even say melancholy if you like. Therefore if I am happy perhaps I am dead and therefore know the secrets of the universe and or know that there is or is not an afterlife.

  9. Gosh making a list of ten points is hard - to be concluded later

  10. Is there more than 10 points in this list? - If you see point 9 the answer should be “Obviously not if I am dead”.

So what would be my message to the other side from this side that I am on or not? Fuck it? Does this become my last will and testament?

This has now got me thinking that I should now specifically post, pre-post, schedule a blog way, way, way into the future for when I am dead. Perhaps do one every 10 years or so. I never thought I’d make it past 16 as I was that annoying so the fact I have made it to over 30 is just lucky. So that is what my next blogging blog thing will be to blog a blog in 10 years from now written now by me. Not now exactly as I am a bit sleepy and could do with a sleep for a bit. But shit you won’t see it as it will be scheduled 10 years into the future. Worse still I’ve just worked out how much money it will cost to run this website for the next 10 years. A fucking lot. I better start saving up unless I am already dead then fuck it I have totally just wasted sleeping time on blogging.