As I lie or should that be lye here in bed pondering if my hangover should be a lot worse and grappling with my favourite Android keyboard I have time to reflect on what great fun getting drunk and watching comedy on 4od and iplayer is. But before I do I must clear up some questions you must be having.
Question 1 Why are you still in bed at 11:33 in the morning?
Well to be honest that is a good question. It is Saturday and I did drink a lot last night but to be honest the real reason is that my irobot rhoooooooooomba vacuum is vacuuming right now. Actually that has finished and it is now the Scuba. Yes Scuba that broke and then had hell-on dealing with irobot and then eventually they picked it up and a month later it was returned. So the reason I am in bed is more to avoid being in the lounge and getting in their way.
Question 2 Why did you drink so much last night?
That is a very good question. Well actually it is not but I am humoring you seeing as you are actually reading this. Well I drank so much because I wanted to and could and I was feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Good answer? It was Friday, I am finding it harder and harder to be at work but feel terrible that if I work from home then why didn’t I work from home when my fiancée was here and spend some quality time with her rather than going to work everyday? In short I am regretting a lot of my past choices regarding work. I’m not entirely certain how far back in time I want to go to fix this. I mean if I go back to being on 9.8 and instead of working longer in a job that was clearly going to be a dead end and get me no future jobs, etc, I could have gone home and gone to the park or had a nice work or a movie with my fiancée!
Question 3 Why did H remove the Flattr button from Olex2?
He was testing the workshop bit. There you go that is an easy one.
Question 4 Who is Luke and why are the people outside your window shouting Luke over and over again?
Well I don’t know the answer to this one. I know I don’t know Luke but two people were shouting for him so much I almost felt like replying just to shut them up. I guess they could have been looking for Andy (inside joke for people who don’t actually read my blog).
Thankfully they have stopped now.
Ok enough with the questions already I am bored of answering them. Why did you start them in the first place? Where was I?
Oooo mentalist was a bit exciting last night now wasn’t it?
Too be honest I haven’t really got that much to say for myself at the moment. Last weekend when I put my fiancée on a plane to China to start her new life out there it felt pretty raw. There was a few tears. I coped by drinking and cleaning. Why cleaning? Well I found that I can clean and not really think about anything. It sort of puts my brain into neutral but at the same time makes me do something which distracts my subconscious from thinking. When this starts to fail alcohol helps. But now oddly I have found that I just feel numb. Like I am in a bottle, the world is outside the bottle I can see it but it is not as bright its just dulled somehow. I have also found that I like to have noise in the apartment, either something playing on Blinkbox or iplayer, or 4od or five demand. Anything I am not even watching most of it - it is just there. My aunty use to leave the radio on for her dog when she went out. Is that what I have become, what great new level that is.
I have to stop now my pad is fucking me off. How can keys stick and jump? FFS
Well I switched to my laptop it about 8 hours later and I’ve started on my first Ginger beard Ginger beer (see previous post about why that is good). I’ve got nothing in particular to rant about. I have spent a few hours emptying and repacking the recycle bin (bags) so they are less overflowing seeing as the bins outside I am suppose to empty them into are full and overflowing. I have made a start on packing up all my things. The start is by opening all my things and throwing away things that I am keeping for no good reason. I’ve got the BCA Spring Meeting books from 2004, 2006, 2007 (probably 2005 and 2008 somewhere) no place in the recycle bag for them though (nuts). Plus boxes for devices that I’ve no longer got or can’t remember when they broke down.
When I write these blogs, often in my head before hand, I try and include some humour to null the venom. Seeing as there is little venom should I also reduce the humour (my humour app reads 0% so far)? Ok here goes:
A man walks into a bar... He says ouch! Then sues the building contractor for failing to adequately provide warning signs, padding and PPE. The HSE agress with the case and the contractor is shutdown and force to go to prison as he can not afford the massive fines. With that he puts 30 people out of work. They are so upset by this they form a crack commando team of assassins and go out and remove evil from the world using unshielded and badly marked out bars. The become so powerful that they invent a time machine and many, many years in the future, future generations note how terrible the HSE was for closing down the company their founding fathers created. So they travel back in time and attempt to correct this by hitting a man in the head with a bar - using their patented lack of warning signage method this results in a man walking into a bar.....
Well I didn’t say it was going to be a funny joke did I? O’shit I did say humour - whatever!