Somedays, well quite more than some, I check my blog and the blog stats and see a particular entry has been read. Of late and for no apparent reason I’ve found that a random blog on “Peace in my lifetime” has been attracting readers. I doubt the article, if it could be called that, was what they were expecting or looking for. In fact I suspect that it is more than likely they randomly ended up here through some temporal fart from Google. Yes I meant that. No I have no idea what I meant by it.

“Why was someone here and what did they read?”, I ask myself, so then I read the article myself. Then I stopped and thought “who wrote this?”. I can see the fire and drive in that writing and now as I read this here very blog back to myself I don’t see that in me anymore.  The words don’t flow they bump into each other and stagnate in front of me. I can’t see the passion forming or the direction where this is going producing anything meaningful. Perhaps I know more people read this blog than before and I am somehow self censoring my pros. But if that was the case the shear amount of heart-blubby-blubbering I’ve written of late would say that is simply not true.

What else could it be? I know that I pick up other peoples writing patterns when I read their works just like I adopt their accents when they talk. This has in fact lead to me having tags in the past for “Stephen Fry” and “Jeremy Clarkson” as apparently I could observe their writing patterns. I know it sounds a bit delusional. I personally think my best writing has been on random subjects that have motivated me at that point in time that crystalised idea and those points which have happened when I had been reading Clarkson’s book(s).

Just like my podcasts I had an initial drive and direction and lots of things to say and write but then they all got written and now I live in a bubble I don’t have anything else to say and write about. I’ve started writing “How to” like things. Why and for what for seeing they are terrible and of little interest, I have no idea. I suppose sometimes they cross fertilize with other mood swings and we find that I am ranting about some silly thing inside a “how to”. Subliminal ranting - hmmm that will be a first for me. I think I should blog about that - not really come on.

In my head right now the urge to write like the Doctor talks is very strong, with wibbly-wobbly timey whimey like pros. But I can not muster the anger or fire to talk about anything with the Doctor’s voice and certainly not about this blogging website. I can’t even think of a great paragraph or line to turn into my excerpt. I’ll probably use that then. That there what I just typed.

I’ve now done the maths (yes maths not math - come on really) and the only way to restart the fire is this:

  1. Make lists - list apparently helped me in other blogs

  2. Read Clarkson’s book and or books and or things about things but nothing to do with cars just his general book things.

  3. Go outside and live a life, have adventures and then come back here and share them with you.

Sounds like a plan to me. I will try I will fail but I will try failing. Erm that sounded better in the Doctor’s voice. Now all you have to do is read the rubbish I produce. Good luck with that.